Irony

Bringing a bag of coffee entitled "Three Africans" to Africa.

Cafe Pap

As a frequent visitor to Kampala, Uganda, I’ve surveyed the local coffeehouses many times over for the best brew in this capital city. Despite the limited market, there are actually a few places that stand out – but Café Pap makes the most consistent enjoyable cup of coffee in this big/little city.

The espresso is smooth but with a subtle but bitter kick that the staff tries to mask behind milk, but I always get it straight up. The baristas use a La Marzocco machine and can manhandle it better than some well-trained folks in the US.

The open-air café’s ambiance has a distinctly African bourgey feel, with a boisterous, jovial clientele, football continuously playing on the big screen and an uber-friendly, if a bit lackadaisical staff.

East African coffees tend to be funky and exciting, with fruit flavors and sweet notes mixed with dark and smoky tones – there's something in the volcanic soil that's reminiscent of mankind’s origins. Café Pap doesn’t fully take advantage of this confluence of taste and opportunity, but they do keep a dilettante-cum-aficionado addict coming back for more.

Kilimanjaro Coffee

Arusha Coffee Lodge

I recently had the opportunity to go on safari in Tanzania, visiting the Serengeti, Ngorongoro crater and Tarangire National Park. The northern highlands and the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro and Meru produce some amazing coffees, and apparently some of the coffee trees are more than a century old.

The jumping-off point for a safari is the little town of Arusha, home of the Arusha Coffee Lodge.

The lodge is situated on an coffee plantation with coffee trees everywhere – to the obsessed, it is heaven. The individual rooms are found along footpaths through the plantation, and coffee infuses every aspect of the visitor’s experience. Perks include:

• Freshly ground coffee (and coffee cookies) are provided to every room daily;
• Coffeebean-inlaid glass panel separating cordoning the bedroom in each suite the (sinks are inlaid as well)
• Coffee-scented soaps throughout the bathroom and shower
• Coffee chocolates are included with the turn-down service
• And lastly, coffee beans are sprinkled on the beds each day (like rose petals)

I had a panic attack when I had to surrender the keys to my room.

I am what I am because I drink coffee...

Just as Obama's smoking habit, Bristol Palin and the Situation are the cultural icons the chattering classes use to define themselves, so too has coffee become a means for social dialog and interaction and yes, defining one's place in society.

I am aware how clichéd this sounds, but think about it – we define ourselves by the clothes we wear (Dolce & Gabbana or thrift store?), the food we eat (Trader Joe's or Safeway?) and the shows we watch (Lost or Newshour with Jim Lehrer?) - and the coffee we drink, or the places we drink it.

Exempli gratia: Rednecks drink 88 oz. 5-sugars-deep truck-stop coffee; the vast majority of Europeans drink tiny cups of bad espresso from giant automated machines; Filipinos and most developing countries drink Nescafe (such shit, not real coffee); hipsters outside of NYC and SF drink Dunkin' Donuts coffee; American's love venti sugar-free non-fat-vanilla-soy-double-shot-decaf-no-foam-extra-hot peppermint white chocolate mocha with light whip and extra syrup.

Where and how you take your coffee says a lot about you. You go to McCafe? I know you and your ilk.

We've taken this to the next level in San Franciso. Coffee culture, much like a sexually active middle-schooler, has risen to new heights of coolness. Walk into the cathedral of coffee on Mint Street or the writer's liar that is Coffeebar and you'll know what I'm talking about. Fixie and a mustache? Meet at Ritual.

I'm not slamming this situation; it is what it is. It even says something about our great city. New York is defined by fashion and finance - hence the exclusive clubs and restaurants no one should be able to afford. LA is defined by the "industry" - hence the $100 haircuts and drive-through plastic surgeries. San Francisco is defined by its left-wing politics and healthy work/life balance - which manifests itself in the best coffeehouses in the US.

and we're off...

I'm starting this blog because I spend an indescribable amount of time thinking about coffee - this continued mental indulgence is probably not healthy, but neither is this.

I'm work in Uganda quite often - where they grow but do not drink coffee. It pains me to see such potential wasted, but I have found a few decent espresso bars.

I brought with me a half bag of Evil Twin espresso roast from Ritual - it's a light, smooth and with fruit flavors - it's also well-suited to my Ms. Sylvia espresso machine.. she's a great machine but as Billy likes to say - "she's frequently kind but suddenly cruel.."

My name is Joe, by the way - which brings up the question: am I compelled by the siren song of coffee through years of conditioned autonymical associations?

More espresso/coffee love forthcoming...